For the past few weeks I have been stomping around my house with one of those little storm clouds over my head.  If it wasn’t a pregnancy related thing stressing me out, it was other stuff.  I needed a break from all of the ridiculousness and have a high dosage of crazy cute to get my smile back.  That high dosage came in the form of a (nearly) completed nursery for this new baby.

This nursery was quite a bit of work.  When we first bought this house last November, we knew that this room would need a complete and total redo.  It had a wallpaper border at the top (I HATE THOSE!!!) and an old and yucky carpet that looked and smelled like someone had been brutally murdered on it (and when we tore it up, the marks on the hardwood floor didn’t do much to convince us otherwise).

These before pictures were taken before we actually bought the house.  I wish I’d taken more detailed photos of that scary carpet.  Just to prove that it looked like someone was murdered on it and then the carpet was bleached to death.

Luckily the room looks completely different now.  The contrast from that dark and smelly room to the bright and cheery room that it is now is awesome.  It’s a happy room.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this Vintage Snoopy bed set.  I guess I could have re-used Lukas’ bed set.  I made sure that his was very unisex and it is still damned adorable, but I really wanted this baby to have something of his own and for Lukas’ bed set to always be JUST Lukas’.  These boys are going to have to share a LOT of things during their lives, and I see no harm in throwing in a unique thing here and there.  Sure, these bed sets will probably be donated when this baby has outgrown his, but I still just wanted this to be something that was unique to each of them.  I grew up with lots of hand-me-downs and I know how those few things that were all mine were so special.  I want my boys to have those few things as well.

Here is the changing table/chest of drawers that my Facebook followers talked about last night.  Jessie put it together and kept doing silly Jessie things that had my in stitches.  This is EXACTLY like Lukas’ and that is simply because it is an awesome piece of furniture.  After it is no longer a changing table, it can just be a dresser/chest of drawers until they move out and take it with them.

Now I’m really going to kill you with cute.  Who’s ready for itty bitty baby clothes?

Drawer full of tiny socks, tiny hats, and dozens of bibs.  I’m so glad that I didn’t have to re-buy a lot of these.

I get excited about holding my new baby in my arms when I am reminded how tiny he will be.  That’s a tiny sock!

I’m hoping that both of us will be out of the hospital and home by the time trick or treaters come around to my house.  I plan on sitting on my front porch with my little baby swaddled and wearing this as I hand out treat bags.

Before I started having kids, I remember my mother-in-law telling me that I needed LOTS of onesies.  She was right and I’m glad that I have lots here.

Teeny tiny shoesies, anyone?  Yes, they are shoesies!

Teeny Tiny bunny slipper!  Passed down from his big brother who was able to wear them for about the first week of his life before he outgrew them.

Teeny tiny sneaker also passed down from Lukas.  Lukas wore these ONCE.  The child was born with size 12 feet, I swear.

A closet stuffed full of clothes.  Most of them are hand-me-downs, but there are a few outfits in there that are just for the new baby.

For those of you perceptive enough to notice the wallpaper on the inside of the closet, yes, we are leaving the pink ribboned wallpaper up.  When this child is old enough to have a problem with the pink ribbons inside of his closet and complains about it, we figure he’ll also be old enough to help remove it.  I hate wallpaper so much.

ATTACK OF THE GIANT BELLY!

Aaaaand the weird belly button thing is back!

And to put a proper end to this cuteness post, I give you a picture of my beautiful first-born.  He thinks Momma’s bed is paradise and takes every opportunity to get snuggled in under that quilt that he and I both adore.

This past week has been a baaaad week.  I’m glad it’s Friday, in fact, so that I can move on from this shit storm of a week and move on.  But, oh, it’s been bad.

You guessed it, I’m going to withhold details.  I’m not going to talk about what made my week.  I’m not going to talk about my stupid little troubles.  Because you know what?  While they are a big deal to me right now and are dominating my life (a life that should be VERY happy considering my almost wonderful everyday circumstances), 6 months down the road I am not going to be thinking about it.  Not often at least.  A year down the road, I’ll have succeeded in brushing off a lot of this garbage.

I’m just going to belly ache for the main purpose of my beautiful readers and friends to give me support and virtual hugs.  Because I really fucking need that right now.  Badly.

The sickness has been really bad lately.  The pills have helped to stop the vomiting, but the nausea has been terrible and I haven’t been eating much.  At first I thought that maybe this ugly sickness was just having one last go at me before the pregnancy is over, but now I’m not so sure.  I think the stress of recent events has been wreaking havoc on my already fucked up pregnant body.  I’m having issues with gestational diabetes (not confirmed, but have been wasting a lot of my damned time at the hospital drinking glucose solution and having tube after tube after tube after tube of blood taken from my arm).  I’m also having issues with my weight.  My doctor asked me at one appointment if I was on a diet because my weight gain is not so good I guess.  I got mad at him and told him AGAIN that I have HG and that I just don’t have much of an appetite.  But everything with the baby at that point looked good.  As long as the abuse is heaped on me, I’m okay with that.  As long as my baby is healthy and safe in my body, I can deal.  But at my appointment today……..

I was in the Dr.’s office two weeks ago and was measuring at 29 weeks.  Right where I needed to be.  Today I measured at 28 weeks and the doctor was a little alarmed.  He asked me over and over again if the baby’s movement is okay.  How many times a day does the baby move?  Is it all day or only once or twice a day?  Are you sure you aren’t leaking fluid?  When I assured him (I had to calm HIM down) that the baby is VERY active and moves all day and that I am not leaking fluid, he scribbled something on my chart and told me that I need to go get an ultrasound “just to make sure everything is fine.”  He then started explaining that this could be nothing.  That I might just have a short pelvis (wtf is wrong with my pelvis NOW?) or some other very benign things.  Then he looked at me and said,

“How are you feeling?  Have you been sick?”

And then it clicked.  This stress has taken a physical toll on me and my baby.  And oh, I was immediately so angry.  Stress and ridiculous circumstances could possibly be hurting my baby.

Nothing’s certain right now.  I have the ultrasound after the weekend and can make sure that my baby is okay.  I’ll also just be able to see him.  The little person kicking the bejeezus out of me will be on a screen for me to see and admire.  My resolve to protect that tiny creature has doubled.  I just need to see him.  And I am freaking out a little bit.  I’m in the home stretch of this pregnancy.  I’ve made it past an “almost” miscarriage, the bitch part of the sickness, and the basic growing pains of having a person grow in your abdomen.  I wish so much that I didn’t have to worry about this baby so much…especially when it is possibly caused by things that could have been avoided altogether.

Hopefully in November I’ll be able to write a blog post about my relief and gratefulness that this baby is just fine despite all of the silly little scares.  That I’ll be able to take hundreds of pictures of this baby and his big brother together and show off my two beautiful healthy babies.  Hopefully, like before, this turns out to be nothing.

Last night while lounging in my living room with my mother and husband.

Me:  “He told me last night that I was fat!”

Jessie:  “Well look at her!  She needs to lay off of the Big Macs!”

Me:  *sigh*

Jessie:  “She looks like she has a big tapeworm or some other kind of parasite growing in her stomach!”

My Mom:  “Maybe she just needs to take a big crap.”