Me: what?  what you gonna do bitch?
Jessie: heeeeeeeey!
Jessie : i’m gonna come there and kick your white ass
Me: bring it hoe!
Me: i’ll wipe the floor with your trashy ass!
Jessie: now bitch, you know i’ll come there and whoop your scrawny ass
Me: do it bitch!
Jessie: don’t be playin’ bitch
Me: bitch, i’ll be playing all over your motherfuckin’ ass if you don’t quit actin’ ignorant!
Jessie: pssh you look ignorant bitch
Me: call me ignorant again bitch and i’ll break glass in your eye!
Jessie: bring it ho, touch me and you fuckin’ die bitch
Jessie: i just got out a prison and i ain’t afraid of goin back
Me: i ain’t gonna send you to prison, i’m gonna send you to the motherfuckin’ morgue hoe!

This not only shows that Jessie and I both have way too much free time with Yahoo! Messenger, but it also shows that we watch way too much Flavor of Love.  LOL……dammit, that’s hilarious.

I don’t know about any of you out there, but I always have really fucked up dreams.  Oddly enough, waking up is the worst part of my dreaming experience, because I am always confused for the first few minutes of consciousness.  I’ve got a couple funny ones, though.  Have you ever been dreaming, and a sound around you works its way into your dream?  Well I have, and it’s always hilarious when I wake up and realize what is really going on.

I was having a dream that Jessie and I were visiting an Ivy League college somewhere back East.  We where in some great Hall and it looked like a typical Ivy League stage.  It was all dark wood polished to a high gloss.  All of a sudden, Jessie sits on the floor and starts scooting his ass across the floor in short bursts, making high pitched squeaks.  I’m just staring at Jessie in horror because the Dean of this place is staring at me like I’m supposed to do something about it, but Jessie just keeps scooting and making that awful high pitched squeak.  I start waking up, and I realize that it’s this weird sound I hear sometimes in the apartment.  I still don’t know what it is, Jessie thinks it’s pipes, but there you go.

I was dreaming that I was sitting across from a really beautiful dark woman, and we were talking about dancing and candles.  All of a sudden, she picked up two spoons, put them together, and started banging them on her head so that the impact with her head would cause the two spoons to hit each other and make a dull *clack* sound.  I waited for her to finish, but she just kept smacking herself in the head with these spoons.  I wake up and realize it is Jessie in the next room clipping his fingernails.  I love it.

Jessie,

I feel like I have known you forever.  We’ve been together for 5 years.  For 3 of those years we have lived together, and for 1 year we have been Mr. and Mrs. Pain in The Ass.

But even before our romance started we had been friends for nearly 4 years, so I guess for someone who is only 23, I really have known you forever.

Remember in high school that one pool party my best friend threw and you and I spent the after portions of it cuddled on her couch talking about 80s movies?

Remember anticipating the weekend so you could come get me so I could stay with you before I started my first year of college?

Remember the first time you told me you loved me?

Remember what our first entertainment center really was?

Remember how anxious we were to see each other on our wedding day?

There is no man on this earth who is handsome enough, charming enough, smart enough, or rich enough to take me away from you.

There is no situation possible that could be fortunate enough or opportunistic enough to make me leave you.

There is no place on this planet I could possibly call “home” unless you were there.

It’s needless to say, but you tend to be a little dense so I will spell it out:  I love you.  Very much.  You’ve always made me laugh.

Happy Birthday, Baby.