I don’t know about any of you out there, but I always have really fucked up dreams.  Oddly enough, waking up is the worst part of my dreaming experience, because I am always confused for the first few minutes of consciousness.  I’ve got a couple funny ones, though.  Have you ever been dreaming, and a sound around you works its way into your dream?  Well I have, and it’s always hilarious when I wake up and realize what is really going on.

I was having a dream that Jessie and I were visiting an Ivy League college somewhere back East.  We where in some great Hall and it looked like a typical Ivy League stage.  It was all dark wood polished to a high gloss.  All of a sudden, Jessie sits on the floor and starts scooting his ass across the floor in short bursts, making high pitched squeaks.  I’m just staring at Jessie in horror because the Dean of this place is staring at me like I’m supposed to do something about it, but Jessie just keeps scooting and making that awful high pitched squeak.  I start waking up, and I realize that it’s this weird sound I hear sometimes in the apartment.  I still don’t know what it is, Jessie thinks it’s pipes, but there you go.

I was dreaming that I was sitting across from a really beautiful dark woman, and we were talking about dancing and candles.  All of a sudden, she picked up two spoons, put them together, and started banging them on her head so that the impact with her head would cause the two spoons to hit each other and make a dull *clack* sound.  I waited for her to finish, but she just kept smacking herself in the head with these spoons.  I wake up and realize it is Jessie in the next room clipping his fingernails.  I love it.