In bed last night, while trying to enjoy [adult swim]:

“Is that you?”

“I don’t smell anything”

“Did that cat fart?  UGH!  That stinks like hell!”

“I don’t smell anything.”

Cat goes out and we try to settle in once again.

“That has to be you!  I smell it again!”

“I didn’t fart!”

“Jessie, I smell it!  It has to be you!”

“Maybe it’s my breath.”

“What did you eat?”

“I had a piece of gouda cheese.”

He moves over to kiss me, and I promptly cover my face with the covers once i get a whiff of the true source of the stench.

“AAH!  It IS your breath!  Oh my God!  Go rinse your mouth out or something!  That is nasty!”

Jessie finally manages to swish some mouthwash, but it’s hard to do so when you are hysterically laughing at your wife who is writhing on the bed, face under the covers, and asking how on earth you made your breath smell like a cat fart.

Earlier that day:

We went to do a short-term grocery trip because we were out of almost everything.  I was really wanting to stock up on some meat other than chicken because I was having a steak craving big time.  Even though we were out of everything and needed many things, Jessie was concerned about only one item:  For the two of us, we only had two rolls of toilet paper to last us a week.   Must be all the red meat.

Jessie and I are talking about starting our family.  I have one full pack of birth control pills left and then I am going off.  In other words, in about a month, I will be actively trying to create a life with my husband.  I don’t know what to make of it sometimes.  I want kids, and I definitely want them with Jessie.  I guess I’m just afraid.  My sister-in-law, who is sort of a sage about this stuff and always has great advice, related to my feelings by telling me,

“Ever since we became old enough to have sex, we’ve been beating it into our skulls that getting pregnant is bad, and now we are suddenly supposed to turn it off.”

Seriously, it isn’t easy.  Jessie’s biological clock is ringing like hells bells and I have to suddenly turn off that mind set and get into it.  Yeah right.

“Reproduction, BAD.  Guilt free, nonconsequential sex, GOOD.”

I guess I have to grow up sometime, though, huh?  I am well aware of the HUGE changes that will go on with our life after we bring a child into our little safe circle, and I am well aware that it’s a 50/50 good/bad type of thing.  And understand that I am not being pushed into this.  My husband and I have talked for a few years about what we want for our children and we have been talking about the right time to start our family since before we got married.  And I really think that I am ready, it’s just the last minute jitters getting to me.  Someone is going to call ME “Mommy” someday.  I gotta do it.  I go into this with open eyes……and a little pee in my pants.