I think that header is a great way to start a blog.  Seriously though .  My moderate depression over the suckiness that was my Halloween has subsided enough for me to venture back on here and spread a little happiness.  Hope everybody enjoyed the holiday.  I had one fucking trick-or-treater.  She was cute though.

I am not on here to bitch about Halloween, I am here to rant about the upcoming poultry-fest I will be hosting yet again.  In past years I had to cook Thanksgiving dinner for nine people.  You heard me right.  NINE PEOPLE.  All of whom have healthy healthy appetites.  This year I only have to cook for four, so you know what that means?  It means I’m still going to buy a 20 lb. turkey and eat all the leftovers myself!  The best things in life are so simple sometimes.  Some joys can be so cheap.  For example, I like to buy these big-ass turkeys so I can start them in the oven the night before Thanksgiving so that when I wake up at 7 a.m. the whole house smells like the best happy place I could ever imagine.  My mom used to do that and I loved waking up and going out and smelling the sweet sweet aroma of an enormous turkey cooking to sweet succulent perfection in the oven.

Do I perhaps sound a little over-zealous about turkey?  If you think that, then you are ass monkey insane!  Turkey leftovers are the best thing ever!  You can make a gooey, thick, gravy-like soup from leftover turkey that makes potential husbands propose to you on the spot!  You can eat dozens of perfect turkey sanwiches with way too much mayo than should be allowed, mustard and cranberry sauce!  You can munch on it in the middle of the night when fevered dreams of juicy warm meat wake you!  Oh yes, I am very much looking forward to Turkey Day.  Very-Friggin-Much.  And I’m really happy I won’t have to be cooking for nine again.  It took like four hours to do all the dishes too…no dishwasher.  And people are annoying on holidays.  Only four this year.  Only four….

Be Sociable, Share!

•