Never in my whole life have I felt as sick and disgusting as I feel right now.  Non-stop puking mixed with enormous painful pimples, oily hair, and awful smelling breath have turned me into the nastiest creature on earth!  I want to find the fucker who said that pregnancy is a beautiful and joyous thing and smack the living shit out of them!  I want to find every woman who “glowed” while pregnant and enjoyed the experience and kick them in the shins!  Don’t believe the lies people!  Pregnancy is NOT a beautiful thing!  I am actually losing weight at a really scary rate because I seriously can’t keep any food down!  My face has exploded into a teenager’s worst nightmare!  I look like death!  I am also finding that I have what I call Non-Moving Motion Sickness.  Technically this means that I cannot sit still and read anything anymore without getting sick, much as someone who is prone to motion sickness might get sick in a moving vehicle while reading.  Watching TV is fine, staring off into space is fine.  Writing blogs, reading blogs, reading books, magazines, nutrition labels, cereal boxes, and anything else with writing makes me sick.  Isn’t that wonderful??  I think I should warn that my blogs might be a little more sparse until I start to even out a little bit.  This is HELL!

Aschlie:  Don’t be scared to fly my muffin!!  You are going to have a fantastic time in Vegas and you won’t be thinking about the plane at all!

Helen:  The Devil’s Daughter on DVD is on it’s way here.  ISN’T THAT THE MOST EXCITING THING EVER?!?!?!  I can’t help but find you funny.  You crack me the heck up.  Bugs up the nose…….

I got a hold of Alexis to tell her my big news, but it was over email because I didn’t want to call and have her tell me she was in the middle of feeding her baby or whatnot.  In her email she was kind enough to give me a specific time to call her.  I get stressed from talking to her because her life kinda sucks, but she’s my only close friend who’s gone through this before.  I have a feeling, however, that the conversation will turn into a pissing contest where the winner will have had the worst experience.  That’s just the way she is.  I’ve got morning sickness?  Psshhhh…she was sick day and night for five whole months!  My anus is bleeding?  Pssshhh!  She had to have her butthole gauzed because of the amount of blood coming out of it.  (NOTE:  I’m so sorry to have to say that.  But My anus IS bleeding and it is either because of an expansion of capillaries in my sphincter, or I am suffering from a really bad sickness that requires medication.  I’ll find out when I see the doctor).   I should be fair, I haven’t even talked to her yet.  But I’ll bet ya!  Either way, I’m mostly interested in hearing if she is doing well.  Her life is seriously depressing…and mostly because there are major things that she can change but she chooses not to.  I get to sit back and watch.  Yipee. (6/3/08…This last paragraph sounds so harsh, but please remember I was SO sick and in a very bad mood and had to be pissed at somebody.  Poor Alexis was the victim this time and if she ever reads this, I SOWY!)

ANYWAY, I am feeling nauseous, so I am going.  Keep posting though, my life is so empty right now with all the puking and sleeping that blogs are just about the only thing I have to look forward to!  BYE!

Today was a puking day again.  Helen, you know that story your mom tells about she was sick when she was younger and a long yellow strand of goop came out of her mouth and it scared her and she inhaled it back in?  I yakked a whole wad of it this morning.  Not pleasant.

Needless to say, I wasn’t in my perkiest mood (food deprivation and constant puking does that to a person).  I even forgot that today was Valentine’s Day if my mom hadn’t reminded me yesterday.  Did I care?  Nope.  I’ve always found this holiday to be kind of stupid.  It commercializes a feeling and I find that to be really cheap.  Jessie says he’s lucky not to have a gushy wife who looks forward to this day for weeks.  I always just thought that all people my age outgrew Valentine’s Day.  I mean really.  SERIOUSLY!  My parents never made a huge deal out of the holiday.  It was a tiny box of nasty chocolates and a stuffed animal and move on with life.  That was fine.  I really started getting annoyed with the holiday when I was in high school and a certain friend of mine (I don’t need to name her, you guys know her actions well) would get VERY emotional if she didn’t get the proper present of roses and candies for Valentine’s Day.  Then after she and her long-time boyfriend broke up, she was hopelessly depressed because there was nobody to buy her flowers.  It was really lame and, in my opinion, antiquated.  It wasn’t just her either!  I got flowers once or twice for Valentine’s Day and I always got bugged mercilessly by shallow stupid bitches asking who got me the flowers,oh how exciting,blah blah blah.  I don’t think Jessie and I have ever celebrated V-Day, besides the “oh, I forgot, Happy Valentine’s Day.  Wanna go do it?”  And that was it!

Back to my point, and the reason I decided to do this blog.  So I was sitting here chatting with Jessie and he started telling me about how he was sitting with two of his coworkers today when one of them asked him what we were doing tonight.  When Jessie said nothing the guy was acutally shocked.  He told Jessie that he was SO lucky not to have a gushy sentimental wife/girlfriend who does nothing the whole first part of February but talk about this day.  I found that so amusing because I really thought that everybody had grown out of this by now!  Jessie tried to rationalize this by saying that for some women it might be one of the only times they can get their men to spend time with them.  I don’t believe it.  Maybe if they weren’t so annoying the guys would WANT to include them in the aspects of their life that doesn’t include sex.  Besides, of all the days of the year, WHY WHY WHY this day?  Every neglectful husband and boyfriend in the world is going to be out kissing ass tonight, giving gifts of naughty lingerie and expecting some sort of depraved sex act for their lame-ass romatic efforts.  Why would you want to be out in that?!?!?  For pete’s sake, stop being so hopelessly pathetic women!  Aschlie and Helen, I’m sure you guys have better things to do.  You guys are most likely just gonna want sex and a movie….a card would be nice too.  But you guys are cool.   You guys have BRAINS and any guy or lesbian with any brain or self-esteem would be lucky to have you!

I have puked my spleen.  Dammit, I was hoping for another good day and I puke my fucking spleen.  Ever force vomit water?  Ever force vomit water so hard that you sound like Steve-O?  It was hilarious, but my laughing was interrupted by force vomitting water again.  Can’t do a long blog because I’ll need to force vomit more water shortly.  And I’ve got the hiccups.  Oddly enough, I’m in a pretty perky mood.  I guess that spleen wasn’t good for me anyhow and it is better that I puked it.  Good riddance.