I am feeling terrific today.  This weekend sucked so hard though.  We had to move into our new apartment and what do you know, Saturday I was sick as a dog and my poor husband had to do about 85% of the moving by himself because I was either napping or my head was in the toilet spewing cherry kool-aid all over the place (which was awesome btw.  Looked like a bloody massacre in the toilet afterwards).  I felt so bad on Saturday, in fact that I called my mom, just because.  That’s right, I didn’t feel good and I wanted my mommy.  You wanna do something about it?  I’ll take you down!  I’m hormonal and mighty!  I will take you DOWN!

My mom was totally cool and motherly.  I appreciated it.  I finally slept a black sleep after dry heaving for about 20 minutes, and putting a very drunk Jessie to bed.  I was so happy to wake up energized this morning.  I GOT TO EAT BREAKFAST!!!!  I ATE A FRIGGIN BREAKFAST AND DIDN’T  PUKE!!   Then Jessie got my KFC mashed potatoes and gravy for dinner (huge craving I’ve been having for like a week) and I ate a whole container by myself.  I kinda regretted it afterwards because I thought I was gonna puke, but I won and the potatoes stayed put dammit.  Now the evening is winding down.  I just finished watching Funny Farm and Jessie is off playing one of his ultra-nerd games.  He’ll probably do that for a few hours and I needed some time to kill.  Aschlie and Helen blogged their holy butts off so I thought I’d better chip in before the hate mail starts pouring in.  Those bastards have a tendency to harass me.

I’m really glad that I feel so much better today, though.  I was really down in the dumps yesterday, both physically and mentally.  But I’m feeling very perky right now and I can’t help but wonder how long that will last.  Will I be puking my spleen tomorrow or will I be ok?  Will I wake up knowing that there’s a whole load of fresh stomach acid waiting to ravage my poor throat to oblivion while I’m puking said spleen?  I dread to think.

On another note, I REALLY wish that I could go see that new Hannibal Rising movie with Aschlie and Helen. They are hilarious at gore-fest movies.  They are all squirmy and stuff.  Especially if someone sticks a bug up a sleeping woman’s nose and it lays eggs in a big pouch on the side of her neck. I still have that movie.  STILL!  And if either of you come visit, that’s the first thing we’re doing!

Our apartment complex is managed by some of the dumbest bitches ever.  I came to the conclusion that they must have been “Business Majors” yesterday after getting a good look at them and talking to them.  When I was in college, we called “Business Majors”  “Drinking Majors” because the business degree was basically the catch-all of the skanks that had daddies that didn’t want to pay for stripper school.  Allow me to explain…

Our apartment complex came under new management about 4-5 months ago.  This new management is renovating all of the apartments and trying to make them look “hip”.  More on that later.  So, since our lease is up, we are being forced to move to a new apartment that has already been remodeled so they can remodel our apartment and raise our rent.  Not a huge deal, just a grumble.  The problem has been that the management is the most disorganized bunch of overly made-up, overly perfumed bunch of idiots I have ever laid eyes on.  The biggest problems started when we started trying to get the keys to our new apartment so we can go ahead and move.  Monday Jessie calls and they tell him he can get the keys on Tuesday because copies will be made.  Tuesday, the turn off our water to work on the plumbing and FUCKING FORGET to turn it back on!  So Tuesday Jessie goes into the office and yells about there being no water and asks for the keys.  The say “Oops, I guess we forgot to copy them, here take these but drop them back off tomorrow so we can make copies.”  Our water is turned back on that night and we go to sleep thinking all is ok.  Wednesday, I walk to the office and ask for the new keys (and get a good look at these girls).  Have you ever had to have a conversation with someone and you can tell by the way they look at you that they are moronic?  They just stare at you with their mouths kinda half open and there is a complete blankness to their eyes.  I had three of those staring at me as I tried to explain that no I live in THIS apartment but I need the keys to THIS OTHER apartment so we can move.  For some reason that was hard for them to understand.  Then they say that Jessie never dropped the other keys off to them so I can’t take these keys until they get the other ones.  I get pissed (because I am tired and pukey) and tell them they are really disorganized and stomp out.  I call Jessie nd tell him what’s going on and he calls them and bitches at them and tells them to look again for the keys and you know what?  “Oops, I guess we must have overlooked them.  Would you want to call your wife and have her walk back down?”  To this, Jessie replied, “No, you need to take the keys to HER.”  To which they agreed.  But they never came.  Jessie had to go into the office on his way in from work to get them.  Ugh!

Ok, so about the remodel.  These apartments are not exactly so old that they look like a flash from the 70s, but they needed a little updating.  SO what are they doing?  They painted the brick around the fireplace, put down cheaper countertops than those that were already there, put down new carpet (which is already stained from the retarded workers they have doing these projects), new doors, and really tacky looking laminate wood-like floor.  That’s it.  It looks really ghetto.  *sigh*  Whatever.  Only six more months and hopefully we can get a townhouse.

I guess I could have tried to be a little more cheeful, but it’s just not in me right now, guys.  Sorry.

So I was going to wait to announce this, but Jessie already posted it on his personal site (www.jcanon.org) and I already told Aschlie and “HELEN!  Bad grammar user”  LMAO.  SO I guess I might as well make it public to the maybe one other person that reads this.  I am pregnant.   I’ll let that soak in……………………yes I’m serious…….letting it soak in……..soak in………ok.  I am super duper happy about this.  I have kinda been an emotional wreck since I discovered, though.  Today was my first day of hardcore morning sickness.  I spent the morning dry heaving and puking water.  I couldn’t even keep water down.  Needless to say, I was not in the most amicable mood today.  I think the one who suffered most today was my poor mom.  I bit her head off majorly today.  But I’m glad she puts up with me.  Anybody else notice that I just said “today” way too many times?  I guess being pregnant might make me temporarily more retarded than usual.  And Helen, let me clarify something becasue I don’t think I explained it well.  I don’t care if you tell Mary or your mom, I just didn’t want it getting back to my dad or grandparents by word of mouth and not directly from me…they hate me enough as it is and I’m waiting until they call me for my birthday to tell them.  They won’t be happy for me, so I’m not excited to break the news to them.  Don’t get me wrong, they won’t be upset, they just don’t care.  Who knows, maybe one of them will surprise me.  ANYWAY, I don’t want to be one of those pregnant women who only talk about pregnancy, puking, hemorrhoids, swelling, and sensitive nipples; so I will try to keep this blog light and happy with the occasional pissed off post…simply because that is what you have all come to love.  But I am very happy right now and also really emotional.  Hopefully I’ll even out in a couple weeks….just a little bit.