I almost skipped this part, almost left you all hanging. This is going to be the disgusting part to write. It might even be capable of making the mushiest, craziest, lovesick person out there puke. But, since I started it, I might as well finish it. The good aspects of marriage and/or committed relationships.
There’s always someone to make fun of who will take it graciously.
You never have to eat alone. Even if you eat in silence, there’s someone there to make gross eating noises to keep you distracted.
When your mom calls, your significant other can answer the phone and let her know that your mouth is busy doing something else at the moment, but it won’t last much longer. Jessie does this to my mom all the time, and my mouth is NEVER doing what he is implying at the time, I’m usually sitting there laughing because I can hear my mom yelling through the phone.
If you have a bad dream and wake up in the middle of the night, there is someone there who you can either snuggle up to, or wake up and talk to until you go back to sleep; this person never gets mad at you for waking them up after a bad dream either.
If you’re upset over something, there is always someone there for you. Even if they say nothing but the wrong things, you can look at their face and see how genuinely concerned for you they are.
You’ll have a moment where you and your love are doing something completely mundane, and you look over at them and smile because they look super adorable when they are zoned out. You may or may not say anything, but they WILL catch you looking at them like a big ol’ sap and ask what you are looking at, and you come out with “you are so adorable,” at which point your beloved blushes and smiles, which makes them a thousand times cuter.
There isn’t any primping required before sex, i.e. it is no longer necessary to shave your legs right before and you don’t have to make sure you smell just right.
You can relax around this person. If you’re drinking a soda and let out an epic belch by accident, there is no need to be embarrassed, you simply look over and say “damn, that was a good one.”
You’re so comfortable with this person and so spoiled by them that kisses and hugs are taken for granted.
When they’re gone, and you get a whiff of their smell, you smile and immediately miss them.
There’s something they always say to you that lets you know that they adore you and really really love you. When I go to lay my head on Jessie’s chest at night, he kisses the top of my head and says “hi precious,” and I always smile a little because I know what he means.
They rub your feet, even if their feet gross you out and you can’t bring yourself to rub them.
Out of all the people you have to spend time with during the holidays, your significant other is the only person you really want to sit with.
If you do something stupid and this person laughs at you, you don’t feel bad. You laugh with them because you know that they wouldn’t do something to hurt you.
I could list a thousand more things that make marriage and committed relationships a great thing (if it’s the right person for you), but I’ll stop because I’m sure you are all sick of me right now. I just thought I’d spread a bit of my happy and my experiences. If you don’t like it, suck it. BTW, this is completely off subject, but you know what is a really funny name to call somebody? You don’t hear it a lot, and it’s not really all that vulgar, but I laugh every time I hear it. Weiner. If you call someone a weiner, it is always funny. “Hey you little weiner, watch where you’re going.” I love it!