The Complexities of Marriage: The Ugly
Today we are going to explore the ugly side of marriage OR committed relationships and co-habitations. Although these types of relationships are not purely made up of nightmares and horrors, they are not all roses either. there is a distinct ugly side to them. Let’s begin.
“What do you want to do for dinner tonight?”
“I dunno.”
“Well do you want to go out or stay in? Pick from those two.”
“I dunno. Do you even feel like cooking? I just don’t know where I would want to go if we did go out.”
“I’ll cook anything, I don’t care! Just choose. Do you want to go out or stay in?”
“I dunno. I guess we could stay in.”
“Ok, is there anything in particular you would like for me to cook?”
“I dunno.”
The “I dunno” person will soon find themselves in the middle of an argument where their significant other is quite irritated with them. This is something that happens a lot, small stupid bickering. “Can you take out the garbage for me?” Three days later and the garbage is overflowing, a fight ensues. “Look at all the popcorn crumbs in the bed!” Another argument. “Your dirty underwear do NOT go on the floor!” Another argument. “*Sniff sniff* Holy shit, is that YOU?!?!” Another argument. “Are you really going to wear that?” Another argument. I could go on forever. When you sit and think about it, you realize that the majority of the arguments you have with your significant other are over trivial and stupid things. In turn, you realize that the reason that you argue over trivial and stupid things is because you yourself are trivial and stupid. *Ding ding* Ugly Side, IN YOUR FACE! In some way, we are all stupid and trivial, it’s just over different things. Of course not one of us wants to admit this. We all want to believe that we are easy going, and we are not supreme naggers. The truth of the matter is, there is not one truly easy going human being on this planet.
We all have pet peeves that drive us crazy and inevitably turn us into bitching naggy assholes. It only varies in degrees. There are some who never let a single thing slide and end up spending the majority of their day bitching. These are the most obvious naggers and we compare ourselves to these nut balls to make ourselves feel better. On the other end of the spectrum are the people we would consider to be “easy going” who only have a few pet peeves and therefore rarely bitch. These are people we admire for their patients and sturdiness. But just remember, those easy going people bitch their significant others out once in a while too, just not as often as most.
We come to the point at last. The ugly side of these committed relationships is self realization. You couldn’t have a moment of clarity where you realize these things about yourself unless you were in a serious relationship and therefore in a position to see yourself the way others might see you. The next time you are in an argument with your beloved, stop being mad at them for a minute. Stop making your number one goal to make them feel bad or to prove your point. Listen to what you are saying and how you are saying it, and you’ll think to yourself, “Am I really that kind of person?” Yes you are.
The next hard thing is to realize that you are not horrible for being that kind of person, it’s just who you are. You might act like an asshole sometimes, but look at your life and your situation. Your not arguing with some stranger on the street, you are arguing with someone who you love and who loves you back. Despite your being a gigantic ass, this person adores you for your other million qualities. Appreciate your beloved for that. Despite everything, they still love you, and you need to be honored that they do.
