Insights of a Drunk Jessie
ME: “You’re talking like you’re 80 years old! You’re still really young!”
JESSIE: “I’d have to live *long pause* 55 more years to be 80! Do you realize what that means?!? That means that I would have to not only live my whole life over again just to reach 50, but I’d have to live double my life to get to 75! Holy shit, that’s a long fucking time! No wonder old people are so mean and cranky! I’d be pissed off if I had to live that long too!
ME: “So life is that bad, huh?”
JESSIE: “I don’t wanna be around that long! I don’t want to be all old and stuff. *PAUSE* *LAUGH* I’d totally be a dirty old man, though. I’ll be the old guy with the mirror at the end of his cane. But at least I’ll still have you to wipe my butt for me.”
ME: “Oh sweety, I’d make sure to get you a nurse. A really good looking one, named Harry.”
JESSIE: “Ah, dammit! I was hoping you’d let me have a really young hot nurse so I could pinch her butt all the time!”
ME: “When you’re that old, you won’t be able to tell the difference.”
