You can thank Jessie for my improved mood.  I just had a sad day today, and I really don’t know why.  Sometimes I just get overwhelmed and I have to yell at somebody or have some sort of lame ass emotional breakdown.  You all now have proof that I do, in fact, have a human heart beating inside this cold exterior.  I love you guys, you know that, right?  I love all the fun we have on Myspace, even though it kinda is my only fun sometimes   Anyway, thought I’d let you all know, we’re leaving for Hawaii tomorrow and won’t be back until late the 24th.  I’ll post the 25 or the next day.  I’m sure I’ll have at least one halfway entertaining story.  If not, I’ll make something up.  Comments and Kudos are back!

Did that last post seem kinda sad or pissy?  Hi guys, I’m pregnant and I can’t help being psycho.  I wanna explain a few things though, because I get that I’m irritating and a little needy about this myspace stuff, but again, it was only joking.  I have lived out here away from everybody I ever knew or loved besides Jessie for over a year now.  In that time, I have made ZERO friends.  Jessie’s job is so demanding, and he works late a lot, he works weekends a lot, and we only have one car.  That leaves me stuck in this house without even leaving for a little bit for months at a time sometimes.  Do I get a chance to socialize?  Of course not.  Sometimes I get to talk to Jessie’s co workers, but since they are all guys, they find me as interesting as carpet.  I haven’t seen my brother in over a year and now I get to try to wrestle with the fact that I get to have a baby out here all alone.  No friends to come break up the monotony, no family to help if I get sick, nothing.  All I have is Jessie, and even though I know he’ll still be working these hellish hours, that HAS to be enough for me and I am forced to be okay with it.    All I have left is wondering how my friends back east are doing.  You guys all know that most of my family is worthless to me because basically they hate my guts, and always have.  I rarely talk to any of them.  I talk to my mom about once a week, and my brother about once a week, and I check myspace about 5 times a day to see if anyone has any news to speak of.  When you guys go a while, I like to tease and pick on you about not posting.  Get it?  My life is so pathetic right now, and I am completely regretting this post, but I want some understanding here.  Ok, I’m annoying.  Ok, I’m being overly emotional.  Ok.  But do you at least see my side of it?  Do you understand how fucking lonely I am out here all alone?  That’s all I want.  Just to see my side of it.  I’m done.  Comments and Kudos will be turned off on this post as well.

Alright guys, I get it.  You have lives, you have no time to blog like me because you have jobs (and I’m just a bum) and there’s just nothing you can think of to blog about.  It used to be funny to rag on each other about not blogging and being little bitches but I can tell I’m getting on your nerves.  I’ll stop..I promise.  I’m disabling comments on this post.  Not trying to piss you guys off, I really am sorry.

8/3/09- I like to say that I wasn’t emotional when I was pregnant.  This post just punched me in the face and convinced me otherwise.  Being a woman can suck sometimes.