You guys remember that?  I still occasionally run around making the hand gestures and screaming that at my cat.  She thinks I’m a total tard by the way.

I think I’ve finally gotten every tiny detail concerning the coming of this child covered.  So many tiny details for someone who is going to be spending the first few months of his life being happy that he just crapped himself.

I’ll be sending out birth announcements after he is born including a picture of his funky looking newborn face.  Is it just me, or do all newborn babies look like Mr. Magoo?  Maybe I’ll feel differently about my baby, but if I don’t, I won’t hold back.  I’ll always tell him he looked like a naked mole rat when he was first born.  I’m hardcore like that.  I won’t be the mom who’s all “my babies are so beautiful” even when they are covered in mud and have snot running down their faces.  The people who read this site regularly (with the exception of my mom who would kill me for not sending the picture and tiny details) won’t be getting announcements because a) I don’t wanna be one of those people who send pictures of my kid to everybody who could care less and b) I’ll post them on here, dudes!  I’ll have the harrowing experience of labor outlined for all of you and a picture of my frog-faced child.  If you want a printed picture, I’ll send it to you, but seriously, flickr is just as good, right?

Every time I go out in public, I get stared at.  I really hate it.  Yesterday Jessie took me to Denny’s for breakfast and some old fart waiting for a table said really loudly, “You better not take her far from the doctor!” and all the people around him laughed.  I just looked at him.  He didn’t say anything else.  Fucking old fart.

I keep having orange juice burps.  I can’t remember the last time I had orange juice!  Weird.

It’s official, Lukas now has more clothes than both his parents combined.  He’s going to be a well dressed little stud, I can tell you that.

My dad called me last Friday to thank me for the birthday card I had sent him.  He mentioned the death of my relative, and I kept my mouth shut and was very civil.  Why do I keep doing that?  Ever since I became pregnant, my father has acted like a real parent to me every time he talks to me (even though it is EXTREMELY rare, like only 4 times this whole pregnancy).  It really throws me off guard.

My grandfather sent a message to me through my brother to call him.  Ummm, no.  Seeing how last time I called he asked me “what do you want?” and then later complained about my calling two days in a row, I don’t think I will.  My family believes that if I were a good person, I would be the one to do all the work to make those relationships work.  My mom doesn’t do that.  If my mom wants to talk to me, she calls me.  There is no excuse for them.  When you live 3,000 miles away, being the peacekeeper becomes much less attractive and the idea of not having these people a part of your life is no longer such a bad thought.

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