I love stand-up comics.  I watch Comedy Central every Friday night just for the stand-up.  Well this past Friday, one of the comics hit pretty close to home for me, causing me to nearly wet myself on several occasions.  Let me lay it out for you, Jessie and Lukas were asleep and I was trying to level out so I could join them.  I’m sitting there watching and the next comic to come on looks like the goofy brother of Jessie’s boss.  It was like they looked alike, but this comic guy looked a little…well….special.  Compare it to Dennis Quaid and Randy Quaid.  You can almost tell they are related, but Randy obviously didn’t get the looks.  That was the first thing to crack me up.  Then this guy starts talking, and he starts talking about married life and making jokes.  Overall he was funny, but I didn’t start dying until he started talking about how women must feel.  I’ll relay what he said as closely as I can remember.

"Marriage isn’t easy for women, either.  Your husband is sleeping, and you’re looking at his big head while he’s drooling all over himself and breathing meat loaf on you that he’d eaten three days ago and you think to yourself, "I married this?"  (The big head comment cracked me up because I have looked at a sleeping Jessie many a time and thought to myself, "Damn he has got a huge head.")  And while you’re watching him sleep, and thinking about how stupid he is, you want to punch him just once.  You start itching to just clobber him in the head so he’ll sit up and ask in his stupid guy voice "what’s going on?" and you can innocently tell him he was having a bad dream."

By this time I had a pillow over my face in tears laughing so hard.  It was like this guy took a moment from my life.  Seriously.  To be straight with you, I have never punched a sleeping Jessie just out of malice.  The bastard snores like a bear and I’ve done a few things to him in order to try to get him to shut up for the LOVE OF GOD.  I’ve kicked him, elbowed him, poked him, plugged up his nose, stuck things in his ear, smacked him with the TV remote, beat him with my pillow, threatened to smother him with my pillow, put cold water on him, tickled him, pinched him, pulled his arm hair, and countless other things.  Half of those things never even woke him up.  It’s horrible.  I almost had myself talked into putting my cat’s butt in his face, but I didn’t go through with it.  He wouldn’t wake up from that, and my luck try to kiss me the next morning with cat butt all over his face.

P.S. To those who are interested, Jessie posted a new video of Lukas.  He’s doing the Time Warp and smiling. 

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