Why I Never Sleep..
This is a run through my typical night. TYPICAL…that means this is what normally happens.
I snuggle into my bed. Right now I have super soft flannel sheets down and I have this awesome quilt. My two snuggly pillows get me cozy right away. I have to wait for Jessie to go to sleep first as it takes him forever to get comfortable. Why do I need to stay awake for that? Jessie Canon is incapable of changing his position in the bed without making a huge orchestration out of it and bouncing all over the place and practically bouncing me off of the bed in the process. So I wait for him to go to sleep first, but I have to try to hurry and get to sleep before the snoring starts. It’s not this soft snoring, it’s this horrid guttural sound that makes me wonder how the man can even breathe while making such a noise. If the snoring starts before I fall asleep, a lot of nudging, kicking, smacking, yelling, and pillow fighting ensues before he finds a position in which he can sleep without breaking the windows with his snore. After that, I am finally able to fall asleep. Then, sometimes during the wee hours of the morning, Lukas may have a nightmare and wake up screaming bloody murder. I stopped going into his room to comfort him for this long ago as it only takes him longer to go back to sleep if I do. So I wait it out and he really only cries for about 2 minutes before starting the extra 5 minutes of loud grunting and whining until he finds the optimal position in which he is perfectly wrapped in his icky blankey. I might be able to go right back to sleep after this had the crying not also brought the Jessie troll out of a deep sleep and into a more shallow sleep in which he flails, tosses, pulls blankets off of me, kicks me and cuts me with his gross toenails, and farts on me. At this point I am nearly delerious and am fighting the urge to brain him with the baby monitor, but he finally stops moving and goes back to sleep. I then slip into the sweet bliss of sleep and then I am awakened by Jessie kissing me goodbye before he heads off to work. He’s usually pretty sweet about it and gives a really nice heartfelt kiss on my cheek or head and he sometimes even slips back into bed if he has time and grabs my boobs for a while. Lukas is usually ready to get up at 8 a.m. and I drag my haggard ass out of bed and begin another long day. If only I could just sleep.
Aschlie said,
September 2, 2008 @ 4:34 pm
I COMPLETELY understand! I, unfortunately, have the same problem with Shelley. She doesn’t move so much….but the snoring is terrible. The only time I snore is when I am sick and can’t breath through my nose….which is not nearly as much as she does! It is soooo annoying. I too kick and nudge her until she rolls over and gets up pissed off. If she wakes up, she has to have a cigg, so in the 5 minutes I have, I try to beat her to sleep, lol. ALSO…this is by far worse to me…we always have the TV on all night, which is not a problem until she decided to turn it up FULL BLAST when she is falling asleep. If I turn it down, she wakes up (EVERY TIME) and is all pissy saying she was “listening” to that. She can’t possibly be “Listening” to anything while she is sucking the cutains in…grrrr…..
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