My grocery store was having a sale on the family size bags of white cheddar popcorn.  We bought it last Tuesday and by Sunday morning, I had the bag upturned over my face and was eating all the crumbs.  Luckily, Saturday I got another one since they were still on sale.  It will be gone tonight.  Jessie and I are pigs.

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Okay, it was mostly me.  Out of both bags, Jessie only had a couple handfuls.

I eat my face off.  I bitch that I hate my body.  I’m 20 lbs. heavier than my ideal (what society says should be my ideal) weight, and I just ate two family sized bags of white cheddar popcorn. 

It’s been a good week.  I think next week I’ll start on some cookies.

Government bailouts.  Upcoming elections in which my choices are two turds.  Banks aren’t too keen on giving me a loan for a motherfucking house anytime soon.  I’m not so sure I’ll be able to afford to put my son through college.  I want a house.  I want an educated son.  I want greedy Wall Street douchebags to have to spend 10 years in ass-pound white collar prison.  The American dream has turned into a mess.  Rob the poor man to feed the rich asshole.  Let’s blow $300,000 on a car that goes over 200mph…which is stupid since there’s no frigging autobahn anywhere close by.  Let’s watch all the middle class people shuffle to the unemployment office from our stupid expensive car while drinking expensive, trendy coffee while also texting 20 people at once on our iPhones. 

What can I say?  I get to be punished for something I don’t even completely understand….no matter how many times that nice lady on CNN explains it. 

Me:  "EW!  What is this stuff?"

Lukas:  "Goo."

Me:  "Well how the hell did it get here?  It’s really yucky."

Lukas:  "Mmmmmm."

Me:  "You didn’t eat any of this, did you?"

Lukas:  "Uhhhh….."

Me:  "Lukas Drake, if you ate any of this, you are in big trouble, mister!"

Lukas:  "AHHHH!"