Lukas’ first birthday is in exactly 13 days.  That means that I have been a mother for almost a year.  I thought I’d take a moment to share all that I’ve learned in this experience of mine…this parenthood thing.

-  Pampers are the way to go.  They may cost a little more, but in the end, you get less mess because they actually do their effing job.  They are also the softest diapers I’ve tried.  I tried Luvs and Huggies and they were very rough and they didn’t move well.  As a person with a tushy, I have to say that I wouldn’t want something like that on my ass all day.

-  The internet is a parent’s life saver.  I researched the hell out of everything from car seats, to infant formula.  You can read reviews and safety issues concerning such things. 

-  Speaking of infant formula, that shit is expensive!  Never fear.  As the internet will tell you, the FDA regulates all infant formulas, so they are all basically the same, you may just have to pay more for a brand name.  Jessie and I were able to get Lukas’ formula from Costco at almost exactly half the price as the name brand stuff, and Lukas sure as hell doesn’t look like he’s malnourished. 

-  Teething actually kinda sucks.  A pissed off baby who cannot convey their feelings in any way other than to scream and cry is a hard thiing to deal with day in and day out for two weeks straight.  Those breaks where the teething stops for a couple of weeks are HEAVEN.

-  My definition of what "love" is has changed a bit.  Unconditional love is much bigger than I once thought.  I don’t think there’s anything that little boy could do that would make me not love him.  I mean anything.

-  No matter how hard you try to avoid it, you find yourself bragging about your child non-stop when given the opportunity.  I, myself, try to stop once I realize I am doing it.  You just can’t help it.  Your child is the pride and joy of your life.

-  Your child is both the greatest joy of your life and the greatest heart break.  You swell with pride at every milestone, but you also feel a bit of sadness knowing that every day they are growing further away from you and that one day you will be nothing more to them than a weekly phone call. 

-  You find yourself trying to get your child to do things that you enjoyed doing as a child.  I guess it’s a way of trying to relate to them better.

-  Bubble baths really are the best. 

-  Ice cream is fucking awesome.

-  The fear of fucking up and doing something scarring to your child is ever present.  Everybody wants to be a great parent, and the ones who don’t put much thought into it like to think they are great parents.  It’s just hard to come to terms with the fact that you’re going to mess up. 

-  Baby feet are very good to munch.  Similarly, baby shoes are just about the cutest thing on this planet.  They are even cuter than kittens.

-  Your baby’s giggle is more addictive than Meth.  All it takes is one giggle. 

-  When people outside of the family take a shine to your child, your chest puffs up and your head grows three sizes. 

FIN

Yesterday was Jessie-Poo’s 27th birthday.  I think he really enjoyed it, partly due to the fact that our first non-family visitors were here for a visit.  Jeremy Elder and his wife Kate were here, and I have to say, it was very refreshing to be able to relax and just chat with people our own age.  I think it was nice for Jessie to have visitors here for his birthday.  He hasn’t had a special annum in quite a while and their visit made it more of an occasion. 

When I was late in my pregnancy with Lukas, Jessie bought me an accoustic guitar.  I had always wanted to learn, but my belly was too big to have the guitar on my lap.  And then Lukas was born and there wasn’t time to practice and then a million other excuses arose.  Well Kate got a hold of my guitar and sat in the living room just jamming and we were sitting around her just BS’ing.  It reminded me of times gone by.  Better times when I was surrounded by friends.  When Jessie and I lived in Morgantown, we used to go over to Jeremy and Kate’s place all the time for parties.  They were always a ton of fun, and I missed that so much last night.  But I was sitting there watching her just OWN that guitar and I realized that I have been acting like a lost cause these past two years and I’m tired of it.  I’m only 25 years-old for fuck’s sake.  I’m still young.  There are people my age still living it up.  I guess I felt really lost out here.  We were never certain that we were going to be staying out here and I didn’t think it was worth it to get close to anybody out here.  I need to rethink this, if, for no other reason, to feel like a normal person again.  I miss so much just getting a call from someone and hearing, "why don’t you come over and hang out for a while," and there’s no pressure to be anything but yourself. 

Jessie’s talking about staying out here.  I have to go where he goes, and he has to be where there’s work.  I’m not sure how I feel about this yet.  All I know is that he and Lukas are my family and I have to be the glue that keeps everything together.  They are what is most important to me.

I just watched Sarah Palin’s first interview on ABC News (YouTube) and……wow.  It was hard to get through the whole thing and at the end of it, my mouth was agape and I officially have a migraine.  I didn’t go into this thing looking for reasons to not like her.  I wanted to so badly to like her simply because other people are so vehemently set to hate her because she’s GOP.  I also think a lot of Dems are voting for Obama simply because he’s NOT GOP and that makes them dumbasses, plain and simple.  Sarah Palin, though.  Holy fuck.  For a person who’s going to be second fiddle to a 72 year-old man and could possibly be president one day, I’m NOT a happy citizen.  I get to choose between McCain/Palin or Obama/Biden.  Fuck you, American Democracy.  There are NO good choices and we’re all basically fucked.  I called it.