Last night I made a big turkey dinner to celebrate the finalizing of our decision to move back East.  All three of us were sitting there enjoying the turkey when I realized that this was the first time in WEEKS that Lukas stayed chilled and actually ATE what was put in front of him.  He ate a huge piece of turkey.  It was the first dinner at home in a very long time where he wasn’t carried away from the table n the middle of a screaming tantrum because he’s a butthole and doesn’t like to eat at the table.  He prefers to eat on the run. 

Last night, though, was great.  The only sound to be heard was the nummy sucking sounds coming from Lukas’ face as he ate his turkey meat.  It was the first calm and pleasant dinner this family has had in a while.  It’s like all the stars aligned just right and there was no other way to be except perfect. 

Aside from the bickering between Jessie and I over the details of our move, there’s no news.  Last night after two white wine spritzers, I was relaxing on the couch and realized that I haven’t felt this relaxed in AGES.  It was nice until Lukas came bounding over to me wanting to play.  I was all like, “I’m impaired here!  CANNOTFUNCTION!!!”  And yes, it was all in one word like that.  I’m smooth when I’m snoggered.

We went out for Japanese for dinner tonight.  Sushi and miso soup are great comfort foods for two stressed out people and their little toddler.  This particular place we went to is a tiny little place that could probably squeeze in 20 people.  It’s never crowded, though…most people get takeout from this place anyway.  Tonight there was another couple in there tonight and they were over there laughing and sympathizing with us over Lukas’ screaming outbursts of happiness. 

All got quiet and Jessie and I were chatting and Lukas was sucking happily on a piece of shrimp tempura.  Then in the middle of one of Jessie’s sentences we heard a VERY loud….umm….zerbert sound.  What it was, was a person in the kitchen was squeezing a thick liquid out of a squeeze bottle and some air got in the way and made THAT noise.  Well Jessie stopped mid-sentence and started laughing because for a second there it sounded real.  It sounded like someone in the kitchen was releasing their bowels in a runny manner all over the place.  Well when Jessie started laughing, Lukas started laughing because Daddy was laughing.  Then the sound came again…only louder.  This time Lukas started laughing.  Really loud.  Sound came again.  Lukas laughed even louder.  By this point Jessie is practically in hysterics.  I am embarrassed at this point, so what do I do?  I start giggling.  This didn’t help matters.  Lukas sees me all red-faced and giggling and starts laughing even louder.  I don’t know what the other couple in the restaurant was doing because I was too embarrassed to look at them.  I was afraid I was going to see two people staring at us like we were aliens…aliens who find fart sounds extremely funny.

Well, it seems that everybody knows, so I can stop with the spy-speak.  I was trying to stay coy about it because I’m not 100% sure who reads my blog.  Hey!  You lurkers out there who think you’re so smart and sneaky…I have Google Analytics!  I can see cities that readers are from.  Most of the time, I have guessed who it is.  Stop hiding.  I know who most of you are.  However, there are a few lurkers from this state and I have to assume that they are associated somehow to Jessie…hence the spy-talk.

The egg the eagle has laid is NOT code for me being pregnant.  The fact that a human child gestates for 9 months instead of 6 seems to have gone over a few heads.  No.  My code was much too complex for a few of you idjits it would seem.  The egg is a plan.  A plan that will hatch and become reality no later than the month of August.  The egg is a real plan, not just talks.  Mama eagle had to pull a power play to get things shaking…and things are definitely shaking.

Eastbound we are me mateys.  We’re still working out tiny details, but we will most likely stay with my mom for a short while and then get a rental in northern Delaware where we will save and actually *gasp* buy a house.  Settling down in this state, with no friends, no family, and no people even sensitive to our situation is no longer something I’m willing to do.  I don’t like it here, it’s too expensive here, I’m too far away from loved ones here, and I’m tired of waiting for mister “I don’t know how to make friends” Jessie get some sort of social life.  Isn’t that weird?  His parents and brother are social butterflies and Jessie is completely awkward and incapable of making a friendship.  I found that so surprising when he first informed me of this.  People out here try to offer advice to us on how to “get out there” and only end up sounding offensive.  I’m just over it.  I made the call.  The decision was mine and Jessie was given the option to stay here or come with us.  He decided his family is more important.  I wasn’t going to wait for him any longer.  I’m done.

This little experiment to prove to everybody that we don’t need help every step of the way is not a total failure.  We made it…on our own.  We are both VERY proud of this.  Now we just want to take the extreme distance out of it.  We’re still going to be a few hours drive away from all family (we wouldn’t have it any other way), but we will be closer so that maybe people can get to know our son and maybe be a part of a network again.  A network of considerate, loving people who actually give a fuck about us.  That will be a big change from this place where the only people Jessie knows only think about business where he is concerned.  Again, I’m over it.  Done. 

Well there it is.  Out in the open.  I hope it was clear enough for the idjits.