I didn’t.  Not until recently at least, which leads me to ask:  Why?  Why was I not previously made aware that there is a Women’s History Month?  I was vaguely aware that somewhere in the 12 months that makes a year that there is a month celebrating women, but it just doesn’t seem to get much recognition.  That sucks a little, you know.

When I think of influential women, one of the first names that always comes to mind is Susan B. Anthony.  I don’t remember learning about her in school.  I came to know of her because her face was on a coin and I asked my mother who it was.  When she told me, I made it a point to look it up in reference books at my school.  She was an anti-slavery activist.  She was one of the louder voices that made women’s suffrage a reality.  She was a women’s rights activist for 45 years.  She died before the 19th Amendment to the Constitution was passed.

I also tend to think of influential women writers of days gone by.  Emily Dickinson, The Bronte Sisters, Mary Shelley, Jane Austen, Fanny Burney and Mary Wollstonecraft (Mary Shelley’s mother).  These were women who were educated and brilliant in a time when women were expected to marry young and pop out babies, tend to their sewing, and manage a home.  It would do all women good to sit down and read some of these women.  Try not to get lost in the language of the era and appreciate the voices echoed in those writings.  And yes, I’ve read at least one work from each of these women.

I can’t, in good conscience, finish this post without mentioning Oprah.  As a woman (let alone a woman of color) she is someone all women should look up to.  Her power and influence are astounding.  Her voice is heard and appreciated by many.  I know that in past posts I have ripped on Oprah a little, but I would be a disgrace to my sex if I refused to recognize how far she has brought herself, her race, and her sex.  One woman.  Because of this woman, the world will never be what it was before her.  Good or bad, she has, with the gentle prodding lead of a woman, forced a change.  For that, she deserves respect.

As with other months that celebrate the history of a particular group, I don’t think that only women should observe Women’s History Month.  Everybody should take some time, research some of the great women of yesterday and today and try to understand why society and the world are better for the presence of strong women.  In the words of an influential woman, Martha Stewart, “It’s a good thing.”

A few weeks ago I stayed up and did something I haven’t done in YEARS.  I watched Saturday Night Live.  You know what?  I miss the days when that show was actually funny.  I miss the days when they would do skits that would make me giggle like a high-pitched chipmunk.  That show is not funny anymore and it is supremely sad.  It makes me think that our generation may see the end of that show that has become so iconic because of the divinely talented people that come out of that cast.  Will they hold a funeral for the show, I wonder?  Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, Adam Sandler and a bunch of other funny fucks would show up to lament the loss of such a funny show.  I’m reading that previous sentence right now and it’s obvious that I forgot a LOT of other funny fucks in that tiny line-up…forgive me. 

Do you also remember when the Friar’s Club used to roast famous people?  They made it a HUGE event that took place in a gigantic theater and lasted for a good few hours.  Now Comedy Central has started holding roasts that are a shameful, cheap imitation of the original.  It’s only an hour long, the comics spend more time making fun of each other rather than the honored guest, and they really aren’t as harsh as they were when the Friar’s Club held the roasts. 

UPDATE:  The Friar’s Club actually still holds roasts!  Check out their list here!

These shows that were once the epitome of hilarity are starting to crumble into dust.  They are dying.  It’s sad, but since it is such a slow death, by the time they actually go, I will be glad for it.  They are just so cheap now. 

I’m just glad that there’s a new generation of funny fucks out there to keep my from being too depressed.  Seth Rogen, Broken Lizard, Tina Fey and a few other people are out there writing some REALLY funny stuff.  And also, there’s me (HI!).  I don’t claim to be a comedian, but taken in small doses, I could easily be considered a funny fuck. (DISCLAIMER:  If you are too stupid to recognize sarcasm when you read it, leave this blog right now) I’m just tired of this dry shit where people are making bitching a higher priority than laughing.  Seriously, everything is too damned serious ALL THE TIME.  Everybody, remove thumb from ass, make your roommate smell said finger, and laugh hysterically at roommate’s look of horror.  It’s a start.

Mommy Wars.  I get chills whenever I hear or read that phrase.  It’s an ugly and sometimes unfair thing that seems to be going on in the world and on the internet these days.  Mothers are fighting each other over parenting styles and parenting decisions.  People are taking it upon themselves the be shamelessly judgemental of parenting decisions and then making light of it on a very public platform. 

The arguments blanket pretty much the whole experience of parenting.  From the moment a woman discovers she is pregnant, she can be judged for making certain decisions.  I’m not talking about the blaringly obvious decisions like smoking crack and binge drinking every day, I’m talking about what she chooses to eat, how she chooses to spend her days, the environment in which she lives, and a number of other teeny tiny details.  While a great number of people choose to simply keep their noses in their own business, others feel it is their duty to let those pregnant women know (and sometimes in a very NOT NICE way) that their decisions are bad and are possibly harmful to her child. 

Now, when the child is born we get into the particularly nasty battles of these wars.  To breast feed or not?  Should the child sleep in your bed or in their own bed?  Should their bed be in your room or their own room?  If you have a son, do you circumsise him or not?  Should you “wear” your child or encourage more independence?  Do you put your child in daycare or do you stay home with them?  Do you dare feed your children something other than organic food?  Do you stick with an only child or do you have more than one? 

I’ve been touched a little bit by a few of these topics.  I’ll break it down:

-I chose to NOT breastfeed my son.  This was after much research online and a lot of thinking on my part.  It was not a decision I just came to for the hell of it.  I researched the hell out of it.  I made sure he got the colostrum ( I pumped it), but my son was raised on formula.  Not only that, but a generic brand of formula!  Now while some of you are not getting why I am building up like this, let me explain to you that there are some out there who would be foaming at the mouth at the thought of my making the rational decision to NOT breastfeed my son.  These people would literally be furious and question my parenting as a whole for that one decision.  These are people who would get in my face an scream at me for my decision.  These are people who would attack my character for my decision.  Never once on this blog or in life have I EVER questioned a woman’s decision to breastfeed or to bottle feed.  It’s a personal matter in my eyes and is nobody’s business.  As long as the decision you made for your child was an informed decision and your child thrives under that decision, then it was the RIGHT decision.

-I let Lukas sleep in my bed with me until he was two weeks shy of being two months old.  Then I unceremoniously put him in his crib in his own bedroom and have never looked back.  Again, there are people who would form a bad opinion of me as a woman and parent because of that decision.  Again, this is a deeply personal matter that I find to be nobody’s business.  Unless your child is 13 and still sleeping in your bed, God bless and enjoy your pillow fights.  Really.  If that’s what is best for your family, the parents know best.

-My son IS circumsised.  It wasn’t a decision made for religious purposes, but it also wasn’t something that we chose to do just because we thought that’s what should happen.  Again, I read up on it and found information that made me, his mother, feel that circumsision was the right choice for my son.  I admit, this was once a topic that was touchy to me before I had to make the decision myself.  However, I now understand why someone might not want to do that to their new baby boy.  I get it.  But my decision to circumsise my son was nothing like me condoning genital mutilation on my child.

-I couldn’t “wear” Lukas because he was too big.  Honestly, I fail to see the issue with this one.  If you choose to have your baby close to you go for it.  If you choose not to, that’s equally cool.  I don’t get it.

-I am a stay-at-home parent.  My son has never been a day without me, not even to stay over at someone’s house.  I’m proud of that.  But I didn’t have a serious career before my son was born and I was in the serendipitous situation where I didn’t NEED to work.  I am nothing but supportive of women who choose to have careers and family.  I am not at all judgemental of a woman who has a child and that child is in daycare during the day.  I don’t feel that the child will grow up disconnected from it’s parents because of the daycare.  If anything, that child will be very socialized.  But there are people who take issue with this.  Some people feel that I am wasting my choices given to me by the feminst movement by staying at home while others feel that by letting a daycare “raise children” parents are doing an injustice to their children.  It’s messy and ugly, but I don’t see any problem.

-Organic food only?  I give him SOME organic things.  But seriously, my budget doesn’t allow for ALL organic.  I don’t feel bad about it.  He eats fruits and vegetables and fresh fruit.  He has a great diet for a short-fused toddler.

-The debate about only children is perhaps the one that bothers me the most.  That one is certainly NOT the business of society.  If I choose to have only one child then goddammit I have every right to make that decision.  If I choose to have another, again, goddammit, that’s MY decision to make.  After that last pregancy from hell, I am pretty much 85% sure Lukas will be an only child. I have had people try to tell me that he will grow up to be weird and spoiled and unsocialized.  I have had people tell me that I will be denying him precious memories and life experiences by not providing him with a sibling.  I guess it bothers me because I am so close to my brother.  I can’t imagine not having my brother and I wouldn’t want to.  These people make me question myself.  They make me rethink a perfectly well thought out decision.  They make me try to bully myself into getting over that first experience and just do it.  Just have another and get it over with. 

Really, for me, the worst part about the “Mommy Wars” is what it really means to be a woman in this day and age.  When it’s another woman….another MOTHER attacking you so venomously over a parenting decision, is it fair to say that it’s men who are holding us back?  Women should know by now the unity is key.  Mothers especially need so much support from other mothers.  As a blogger, I shouldn’t be afraid to announce that I DID NOT BREASTFEED MY CHILD for fear that someone (a woman) will belittle me for that decision.  In this age of knowledge and the encouragement for education, why is it that sympathy and understanding are still not universal?