It’s Like I’m Being Goaded….Is That a Word?
It’s snowing outside! The first day of April and it is snowing outside. I’ve been saying all morning that it is Mother Nature having a little fun with the whole April Fool’s Day joke, but now I have a different opinion. I feel like I’m being taunted. Like some unseen force is laughing at me the way a 6 year-old bully might laugh by throwing dog poop at me.
“Hehehehehe!” She says. “You have made your LAST free complaint of the Pacific Northwest, you petulant little asshole. I will make you SUFFER these last few months that you are here! And when you’re gone, I will supply the most beautiful weather in history to this area just as a celebration of your absence!”
We get a small peek of glorious weather…so glorious that we have *gasp* a nice day outside. It was wonderful, and now it is gone and far from memory already. SNOW?? Are you fucking kidding me?
That’s it. This place must hate me more than I hate this place. Now it will feel more like an exile and not so much an escape when we leave. Well you know what? BRING IT! I’m SO out of here and will soon be returning to winters of inches and inches of snow and freezing weather in the winter, humid weather in the 90s in the summer, and beautiful proper equinoxes. I can handle freezing to death in the winter and suffering a slow death from the heat in the summer…but this 8 months of gray rain and gloom takes the cake. I can’t take it! I WILL defeat this damned place and get out. If I need a little help from my friend, vodka, then so be it!
