The Remote Wars
I have to admit that most days, Jessie and I have a pretty good marriage. We get along pretty well, we enjoy each other’s company, and we have pretty good communication between us. We compliment each other in a way that is very beneficial and we both have the same long-term goals for ourselves and for our son. The thing that is the most consistent and persistent problem is the remote control.
As the dominant personality of this marriage, I usually have control over the remote. Jessie is usually pretty “whatever” on what we watch. But I do something that drives him up the wall. I channel surf. That isn’t to say that I sit and flip through the channels all day. No. I pick a channel, but when a commercial comes on, I start flipping. I hate watching commercials. If I’m lucky, there’s something on another channel that I’d like to watch so I flip between the two and watch two programs and no commercials. It’s great. Jessie HATES it though. He says it is, by far, the most annoying thing about me (which I have to disagree. I can think of a thousand things about me that are much more annoying than my need to not watch commercials). I don’t even see why he throws such a hissy fit about it. It’s not like it’s always something he’s never seen before. The fucking television stations make a sick game out of showing the same 4 goddamn movies for months at a time. But there’s also another reason as to why I (ME!) always have the remote and not Jessie.
He is the person who will sit and go through the TV Guide channel for an hour or stay on the On Demand station all day. He’s also the person who doesn’t take the time to learn what channel is which station so he slowly (VERY SLOWLY) flips through EVERY DAMNED CHANNEL until he finds something good…and then he turns on the TV Guide channel for the millionth time. For instance, in our lineup, channels 9-34 are news, the Hallmark Channel, local government, and fishing channels. These are channels that we wouldn’t watch. Yet he still slowly flips through the entire lineup and wonders why I am sitting nearby ripping my hair out and trying not to scream at him.
For the time being, Jessie is just going to have to live with my channel flipping. It’s either that or I go down in history as the woman who murdered her husband by jamming a remote control through his right eye socket. He can choose.
Hubby said,
April 7, 2009 @ 12:05 pm
This war is NOT over! I will go and buy safety goggles if I have to!
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merrywifeofcanon said,
April 7, 2009 @ 12:12 pm
Oh hush up. You know you submit to my authority. You KNOW IT.
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Hubby said,
April 7, 2009 @ 12:26 pm
I shall not flag nor fail, I shall go on to the end.
I shall fight on the seas and oceans, I shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air…whatever the cost may be.
I shall fight on beaches, landing grounds, in fields, in streets and on the hills.
I shall never surrender!!
[Reply]
merrywifeofcanon said,
April 7, 2009 @ 1:12 pm
U r dumb. I haz the remote. 4 ever.
[Reply]
Aschlie said,
April 7, 2009 @ 7:20 pm
Don’t feel bad, Jessie. Shelley contantly has the remote at our house
She watches the same shit over and over again….and it’s always forensic science crap. I will admit that I liked it to begin with. But honestly, I think I know everything about hair and fingerprints known to man. I believe I could figure out a 30 year unsolved mystery myself, LOL!
[Reply]
helen said,
April 8, 2009 @ 9:17 am
i’m kinda with jessie here… i have no clue what channels are what so i flip on the guide to see what on …but… i usually have it on cartoon network when im looking for something else..
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