Still Existing…
From Aschlie’s last comment, I can see that waiting a full week to post is probably too long to wait. But is wait the right word? I haven’t been waiting for anything. I have nothing to report! Nothing to write about, at least nothing I’m comfortable writing about. Life is compicated, things are weird, and I don’t want to talk about it. That’s basically all.
I’m also depressed again. It’s been something that I’ve been trying to fight off for a long time; over 2 years. I have my good patches and then suddenly everything goes to hell. I don’t write or talk about it not because of shame, but because I just don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to be bothered about it. I just want to try to fight it off on my own and not have to explain myself or answer any questions. Why have I gained so much weight? I’m stressed and I’m eating all effing day. Why am I being such a bitch? Because I hate my life most days. I hate myself like this.
On a lighter note, I had some sort of weird allergic reaction to something on Saturday (maybe it was shrimp, I’m not sure…) and my face swelled up and got blotchy. My eyelids were so swollen it hurt to have my eyes open. Yesterday morning I took a Benadryl in hopes of making the swelling go down and finally at about 3 p.m. I noticed that I could actually see again. I’m still a little itchy. My only question is, what the fuck did this to me? My luck, the next time I try to eat shellfish my throat will close up or something…..
Okay, so I have some other things to share but not today. I’m going to spend today trying to get my mood up.
Aschlie said,
May 18, 2009 @ 4:55 pm
I’m sorry you’re depressed…it sucks. I have days where I feel good and then days that I seriosuly hate everything about my life. It’s weird, and it changes daily. I was in a good mood yesterday (I got to eat at the new Red Lobster in Morgantown), but Saturday, which should have been a good day, was blah. I don’t know, lol..I just couldn’t get out of the blah feeling, and I tried!
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helen said,
May 19, 2009 @ 5:04 am
hey somer… i know its been forever and trust me i feel like poop for not being on here .. but i think we have been riding on the same boat… i’ve just been feeling pretty crappy buit also trying to make myself feel better… the past few days i have tried not watching TV cause i find that it only makes me feel worse ..like i have waisted a day watching other peoples lives…. i know some is pregnancy but its also not having any friends here…. i love dennis but i need other people to talk to … other people to hang out with… i find that i have a strange opinion of myself and why i havent made any friends and why i’m a loser….lol… miss you somer… i need to take pics of the babys room and of my growing stomach… i found my first stretch mark today….guess its ok.. i’m at 29 weeks and and 4 days and just now getting them…. i think my boobs stole all if the elasticity(sp)of my skin …but another thing to report… my stomach finally sticks out farther than my boobs…lol
ok dennis and i are taking our dog down to my moms for the week so we are not feeding her this morning so that she wont puke in the car….she came over and was sitting my dennis and he said “no muttly you are not going outside, i’m afraid you will eat your own poop since we arent feeing you”
so i started sining”R-E-C-Y-C-L-E ,recycle”…lol… well i thought it was funny..lol…sick but funny
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merrywifeofcanon said,
May 19, 2009 @ 9:35 am
So I guess we’re a group of Emo friends? Man, that’s terrible
Trust me when I say that you learn to be ok with it. They make lovely one piece bathing suits these days. And yes I would love to see pictures of your nursery and belly! I’ve been waiting for them actually! And when we move back East I was hoping we could all meet up. We’ll discuss that after Riley is born and you’re more familiar with how it will work, but I’m definitely going to make time for you guys. You and Asch were closer to Jess and I when we lived in WV than everybody except my brother. So we miss you guys like crazy.
I guess I’m just tired of the isolation, the inactivity, and being in a place that is completely alien to me. But that’s changing quite soon, isn’t it?
Helen, I relate completely. And the stretch mark thing? I think I was about where you are when I started getting them. I was actually ok until the 9th month. Since I carried him the whole 9 months those last three weeks he grew SO MUCH that my stomach just lost all elasticity and got totally effed up. I’ve got stretch marks all the way around and almost to my back and my stomach sags a little
Please keep us updated on how you’re doing Hellie and please feel free to call me if you want to talk! And Aschlie, well I guess I’ll keep posting random chest pics for you
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Aschlie said,
May 19, 2009 @ 9:49 pm
Random chest shots always brighten my day
You know what upsets me the most?When we all lived here, I took it for granted. I was always rushed because I didn’t want Shelley getting mad. When Helen called to go anywhere, I’d make up a lame excuse and feel like shot because I couldn’t go. Anytime we came to your house, I was worried I would stay too long and piss her off. But since you guys left, I realized just how much I miss just hanging out and doing nothing but spending time with great company. I’m done worrying about pissing someone off because I want to spend time with friends. Now that we’re all older and starting families, we need each other more than ever. I can’t wait to get us all together to just sit and do nothing 
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merrywifeofcanon said,
May 19, 2009 @ 10:54 pm
omg, Aschlie you just made me cry
No one could have said it better.
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helen said,
May 20, 2009 @ 5:37 am
you are so right asch…i cant wait for all of us to get together and to just laugh… i always laugh so much around you guys.. its been toooooooo long
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Aschlie said,
May 20, 2009 @ 6:23 pm
I was thinking the same thing, Helen. I miss laughing so hard I pissed myself (yes, I will admit it). Just laughing about stupid shit is what I miss the most
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merrywifeofcanon said,
May 20, 2009 @ 7:14 pm
At least we’re still all friends and can miss those days together and not alone. That’s something. I promise we’re going to get together this summer or fall. I’m making it a priority to see you guys because you guys are better to me than almost all of my family, extended and not. Like I said, we’ll discuss tidbits later. We’ve gotta let Hellie bring forth her offspring! Oh, and Asch, we’re making a trip into WV the second weekend in October, and letting the fams meet Lukas, but I intended to make a good bit of time for you (again since the fam is still a little on my bad side for that whole taking us for granted while we were there and then not giving a shit about us once we were gone thing.) And if Helen can make it in that weekend, that’s great but if not we’ll make time to meet somewhere else and all be together.
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Aschlie said,
May 21, 2009 @ 8:50 am
OMG! That’s awesome. When the time gets closer, give me some dates bc I will take a day or so off of work
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merrywifeofcanon said,
May 21, 2009 @ 9:18 am
We’ll be coming in Friday the 9th of October and going home that Sunday.
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Aschlie said,
May 21, 2009 @ 1:34 pm
I usually take half of my vacation in March and then the long half in September. However, I think I am going to wait and take it in October (since it’s the beginning of October) just so I KNOW I won’t be working. That way we can hang out and I don’t have to be up for work or anything like that. Maybe Helen can come down with Riley if that’s not too early (because I have no idea what it’s like to deal with a newborn, lol). But it would be totally awesome to hang out!
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