I’m Not Calling Them “Resolutions”
I think that New Year’s resolutions can be phooey sometimes. We make them and for the rest of January are totally amped up to make our resolutions reality, but as the year wears on, things kind of fall to shit. I refused to make any resolutions on New Year’s Eve. I didn’t do it. I mean, what will I “resolve” to do for the coming year? Lose weight? Well, yeah, but that’s aside from the point.
Actually, I am SICK TO DEATH of hearing about weight loss and diets and all that. Not from those of you who are currently on the path to healthier habits (YAY ASCHLIE!), but with news and magazines and all that. Every month, my mom gives me her back issues of Woman’s Day magazine. I like to flip through and read the articles, but I always get annoyed because EVERY issue has a new diet inside. I mean, I avoid fashion magazines with mannequin-thin models and actresses on the covers simply because I don’t want to read about how to “please my man in 10 new ways” (WHATEVER) and I don’t care about the new diet craze! But Woman’s Day? WHY? We complain about body image being something that is slowly killing us women who simply cannot fit into a size zero and yet even the most innocent looking magazines are constantly reminding us of how we need to rethink low carbs, low fat, 1/3 fat, calories, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, NutriSystem, Slim Fast, Dexatrim, etc. How can we fit back into our “skinny jeans”? How can we look fabulous for our upcoming reunion? How can we feel better about ourselves? It’s all about dieting.
Now I’ll be the first person to attest to the benefits of eating better and exercising. Honestly, you really do feel better. Your body feels better. But where are the articles in these magazines telling us to see ourselves as beautiful in a size 12? Where are the articles telling us that real sex appeal is in confidence and not in size 2 skinny jeans? It’s not healthy for our psyche.
So in a complete rebellion with the diet industry and with society’s “standards of beauty”, I am refusing to make a resolution to lose weight. I’m going to lose weight, that’s a fact, but it’s not a resolution. My extra weight was put on because of mental problems and it is mental healing that will take some of it off. (I’m going to give numbers here folks so if you’re a judgemental bitch, go the fuck away.)
At my thinnest, I was 115 lbs. For the past few years, I have been unhappily sitting between the 140-145 lbs. area, wishing desperately to get down to 125 lbs. After the stress of the move from Washington to Pennsylvania and being sedentary at my mom’s house for 3 months, I hit 165 lbs. After two months in my own place and doing absolutely nothing (no exercise or diet) I am down to 153 lbs. I suspect that the additional weight will continue to fall off on it’s own until I hit about 145 lbs. I need to get my treadmill set back up and start watching what I eat during the day, but I can get back down to 140 lbs. rather easily. I’d still like to get down to 125-130 lbs. but I’m not going to base all of my self esteem on a number any more. I want to feel better.
Now even though I have technically resolved to lose this weight, I am not calling it a “resolution”. I am sick to death of that word always going hand-in-hand with weight loss. Let’s just call it a “goal”. Let’s call it a “mission”. Let’s call it a bit of mental healing. Anything but “resolution”.
Aschlie said,
January 27, 2010 @ 12:53 pm
Ok, I love this blog. I love the fact that you post numbers because I too don’t care what people think about my weight. It’s really a personal journey that I deal with…no one else.
YIKES! It’s not something that sneaked up on me, though. I saw it coming, and when I weighed myself I honestly thought I’d be over 220…so I was somewhat happy with 217, LOL.
I started one week before Thanksgiving (11 weeks today) not eating fast food. Yes, I need to exercise, but as of yet, the only thing I have changed is no fast food. I started out at a VERY unhealthy 217 lbs
I weighed myself yesterday and I am at 198. UNBELIEVABLE! The ONLY thing I changed was no fast food and I have lost 19 lbs in 11 weeks. Mind you on Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day I ate whatever I wanted without hesitation as I grabbed for the peanut butter fudge. I had already decided as long as there was no cheating before or after these days, I was going to treat myself.
There is NO SECRET in dieting. Eat less and exercise more. There is no science behind it, and no lose weight quick scheme.
At this point I am frightened to eat fast food because I am afraid of how my body will react. A McDonalds cheeseburger sounds good in theory; but if it gives me explosive diarrhea, I’ll pass, LOL. After all, after 11 weeks, I’d say I’m over the compulsive part of fast food. It’s kind of like going 3 months without smoking and then picking it back up….WHY???
I’m still WAY overweight, but I feel sexier (thought it’s kind of a weird feeling for me, lol), I feel healthier, but I feel like I am doing the right thing, which is a great feeling all in itself. Many people at the bar told me it was stupid to diet during the holidays. My response was there was ALWAYS going to be an excuse to not diet. If I didn’t start when I did, then it would be a New Year’s resolution, which would not work. Then I can’t diet during Easter or my birthday. There’s ALWAYS something. I don’t look at it like dieting, though. I am still eating A LOT, but it’s a lot more veggies and fruit. I love steak, so every once in awhile, I have one. I could never be a vegan. When I started eating better, thanks to Helen and her family for including me in their dieting, the time was perfect for me.
Here’s the best news of all: I am on the last hole of my belt, and I tucked my shirt in today. I wouldn’t do that before because the fat was too much to bare….now I am doing it. Even though I am still heavy, I just feel better about myself. It’s a great feeling
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Somer Canon Reply:
January 27th, 2010 at 12:56 pm
I’m so frigging proud of you for buckling down and just doing it. Really, that’s always the hardest part.
And if you want Mcd’s, beware the McGas, McIndigestion, Mcsquirts, and McPain. It tastes good, but beats on you later. Sometimes I take it anyhow
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Aschlie said,
January 27, 2010 @ 1:06 pm
I had a cheese danish with strawberry swirls for breakfast on Christmas Eve. A Chinese guy that comes to the bar brought it to me, and I figured it was Christmas Eve, I’d have it. O..M…G…this is something I ate many times before and never had a problem. First, the sugar amount was WAY TOO MUCH. I had been eating high fiber oats for breakfast, so sugar that early was just too much. Then the danish traveled through my digestive system….and I was SICK…LITERALLY SICK for about 5 hours. I was working and could NOT stay out of the bathroom. I thought I was going to vomit, I felt soooo sick.
It was that very moment that I realized I wasn’t about to have a cheeseburger. If a cheese dansih did THAT to me..I can’t imagine what grease would do to me. So I am literally scared to have anything fast food. I have gone to restaurants since then…not many times, but occasionally I do. But I have eaten good food…but like hotdogs or cheeseburgers or anything greasy. I am talking steaks or chicken kind of foods.
I am really good with routines. I think part of eating fast food was because of the routine part of it. I ate it for breakfast lunch and dinner EVERY SINGLE DAY. My car could just drive itself to McDonalds for breakfast, LOL…I joke that the only veggie I had in the past 2 years was ketsup on a burger. But seriously, I can’t remember eating veggies or fruit. So once I started a routine of NOT going to fast food, I settled down into my routine. It’s not hard now. I’m just anal about having the same routine every day, LOL…
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Somer Canon Reply:
January 27th, 2010 at 1:14 pm
I swear, you and Jessie should have gotten married. He is big on routine, too. I’m not and when I break routine he gets very upset with me
I think he puts up with it because I have sex with him.
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Aschlie said,
January 27, 2010 @ 4:12 pm
Jessie missed his chance to get with me, hahahaha!!!! If he ever goes through with a sex change, he might have another chance, LOL!
Seriously, you and Jessie are perfect together because where he can’t make up his mind, you are there to say this is how it is, lol. I find myself attracted to those personalities bc I am the kind of person that can just go along with anything, lol. When I have to choose a place to eat or something to do, I freak out, LOL! So having someone who says this is how it is works
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Somer Canon Reply:
January 28th, 2010 at 9:33 am
Yeah, if you and Jessie were together, you’d be waffling all night long about where to eat and end up starving LOL!
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