I’m coming out of it, folks.  As with Lukas, with the onset of the second trimester, my pills seem to be helping much more.  I don’t have a severe case of HG.  As long as I have my pills and I’m able to get them down my gullet fairly early in the morning, I’m able to have a semi-normal day out of bed and doing my normal domestic duties.  I was getting a little worried that it wasn’t going to happen this time around, but it’s here.  Yesterday I got out of bed, cleaned a few rooms and I even made dinner!  I haven’t cooked dinner in a very long time but it was so rewarding to sit at the dinner table with my little family and eat something that I had prepared.  It was wonderful to feel productive again.

I had another blog post in mind for today, but this little blah blah is really just a platform for me to show off another video of Lukas being cute.  Today we sat in the sunroom and played with some of his toys and munched on some Oreo cookies.  We both share a deep love for Oreos, even though our view on how to eat them differ.  I am all about keeping them whole and dunking them.  Lukas is a split-and-lick kind of guy, which upsets me greatly.  He’s ruining a perfectly good cookie!

Lukas Oreo Face from Somer Canon on Vimeo.

Note:  I also LOVE how every “sentence” end in “Momma.”  If he’s talking to his toys and I’m in the room, every sentence directed at them still ends in “Momma.”  It’s really freaking cute.

I have to tell you, I think I’m pretty damned brave for posting this vlog.  I’m wearing no makeup, my hair is pulled back and hidden, and I’m holding the camera at the most unflattering angle showing off my fat neck and 3 chins.

Also, I look like a bumbling idiot just chattering on about nothing for over 7 minutes.  If you hate me and like to talk bad about me, there’s plenty of fuel for the flame here.

MWC 400 from Somer Canon on Vimeo.

I know that I’m not due until the end of October, but I have been obsessively pondering my birth plan for L.O.  It also doesn’t help that Jessie’s brother and his wife welcomed their second (and adorable) baby this morning or that the blogosphere has positively been abuzz with talk of C-Sections.  My brain is totally stuck on the subject of delivery.

With Lukas, when I look back on that experience, I remember it more as a medical experience than any sort of moving experience that touched me deeply.  My water broke, I went to the hospital and was immediately hooked up to an IV and practically strapped into a bed the entire time.  I had mentioned that I wanted to be able to walk around, but the medical professionals seemed to think that I needed to rest.  Now I wish I had been more forceful.  In the end, it wouldn’t have mattered.  I would have labored and suffered and still would have had to have that emergency c-section.

Every medical person who has had to shove metal instruments and fingers in my hoo-hoo-dilly have all made comments that my pelvis is very narrow.  I never gave it much thought when I was in labor.  The female body is supposed to move and bend and accommodate the passage of the infant.  Well mine couldn’t accommodate a baby as big as Lukas.  After 3 hours of pushing and the intervention of the vacuum, it was obvious that the child was not moving past my pelvic bone.  An emergency c-section was ordered and my beautiful boy was brought into the world.

Armed with that past experience and the knowledge that I would rather not assume that I’m having another c-section, I think that I’ve got a loose plan.  I’ve discussed it with my doctor (who, by the way, wanted to go ahead and schedule my c-section before I informed him that I would like to try a VBAC) and we’re going to wait until the third trimester to make a solid decision.  At week 36, I will have an ultrasound to measure the baby and make a guess on if this will be another giant baby like Lukas.  If that is the case again, my doctor will schedule a c-section.  I WILL NOT feel guilty about that decision.  Laboring for 16 hours, having that sensation of feeling your pelvis being pulled down by a baby stuck in the birth canal, and then having to have a c-section anyhow isn’t fun.  If I can’t deliver L.O. vaginally, there’s no need to labor.

However, if it looks as though there is a chance that L.O. is less of a giant and a little more in the 7 lb. range, I would like to let nature take it’s course.  I’ll still be staring down the possibility of another c-section anyhow, but I’d rather at least try it and make sure that the medical staff understands that I want to be in control of the experience this time.  Don’t worry about me, I have no problem being a demanding and stubborn bitch when it comes to my babies and my birthing experience.  My birth plan with Lukas was about 3 pages long.  It will be at least 5 pages this time.

I find myself envying women who were able to vaginally deliver their children.  They actually GAVE BIRTH to their babies.  I don’t feel like I had the experience of giving birth.  I’m not one of the many women who had a c-section to make life easier.  I’m not a statistic of medical professionals forcing a c-section on me.  My c-section was actually necessary and my doctor explained to me beforehand WHY it was necessary (as I requested in my birth plan).  Hearing, “Look, honey.  This little guy isn’t going to fit the natural way.  There’s no danger to him right now, but he has to come out soon or he will start getting distressed.  We’ve tried everything to make this happen naturally and you’ve been a trooper, but we’ve got to have a c-section.  There’s just no other way.”  I trusted my doctor and she was well versed on my birth plan and knew that I DID NOT WANT a c-section.  We did everything to make it happen naturally, but it wasn’t working.  So I sobbed for a minute, signed the paper, and let them wheel me to an operating room.

I want that choice this time.  I want to be able to say how this will happen and not have a doctor tell me how it will happen.  I guess in about 20 weeks I’ll know how this will all work out.

On a happy note, I’m feeling much better now.  I still puke every day, but thankfully, as with Lukas, after I take my pill I’m able to function normally.  I’m still not enjoying food very much but I’m functioning as a normal human being again.  Thank goodness.